Saturday, January 19, 2013

Poetics: Pecados

It was love, sí creo,
which wrestled to retrieve mi corazon
de oscuros recovecos impossible to find,
pero emptiness tiene una manera de ojos ciegos.

For all the million times he tried
to string mi corazon con cintas,
I cut them up
una y otra vez.

¿Y cuando te das cuenta de tu pecado?
Sometimes forgiveness has expired
dejando corazones oscuros hundidos
like cold stones dropped in a lifeless pond.

Incluso el amor tiene limitaciones
when confronted with the barbed-wired soul.



Translation:

Sins

It was love, I do believe,
which wrestled to retrieve my heart
from dark recesses impossible to find,
but emptiness has a way of blinding eyes.

For all the million times he tried
to string my heart with ribbons,
I cut them up
again and again.

And when you realize your sin?
Sometimes forgiveness has expired
leaving dark hearts sunken
like cold stones dropped in a lifeless pond.

Even love has limitations
when confronted with the barbed-wired soul.

**This poem was written in response to Fred Rutherford's inspiring Poetics' prompt. We were asked to write using a foreign language. I found it more romantic to mix the languages, but I do ask that you forgive me if I've confused translations horribly. Also, a special thank you to my husband, who speaks Spanish far better than I, for his help.


29 comments:

  1. Sometimes forgiveness has expired
    leaving dark hearts sunken
    like cold stones dropped in a lifeless pond...oh heck..made me swallow hard.. wonderful inclusion of the spanish..my daughters speak spanish well..i'm not at all unfortunately...i think it's a wonderful language

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    1. Thanks, Claudia :) I love that your daughters speak Spanish. My two want to learn, but they'll need more than my help. My husband speaks Spanish far better. I think we need to jump on that desire before it leaves though.

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  2. oh dang...a barb wired soul...i think even then though love if given the chance will win...luckily we are never too far gone for forgiveness you know....woot a collab with the hubs as well...smiles.

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    1. I do think you're right, Brian, but where is the drama in loving winning every single time, lol

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  3. Emptiness definitely does have a way of blinding eyes...whether in one's native language or another. And, ah, I know about forgiveness having expired. I do like the way you expressed this!

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  4. This is a sharp one specially these lines:

    Sometimes forgiveness has expired
    leaving dark hearts sunken
    like cold stones dropped in a lifeless pond.

    I wish I put to use my Spanish lessons but sadly I neglected it ~

    Nice to see you in the pub Lori :-)

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    1. I used to be much sharper, but with the passage of time my Spanish is quite poor. Maybe I should study it again. I did always enjoy the language. It's nice to see you, too, Grace :)

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  5. I really enjoyed the mix of English and Spanish - it was a lot of fun to read out loud.

    The poem is really powerful, and beautifully written in either language - although my Spanish isn't much to speak of.

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  6. Seems like we both went to that same empty place, Lori. The romance languages do that to you, I guess. I love the line, sometimes forgiveness has expired.

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    1. They definitely do that for me, Victoria :) And thanks for taking the time to visit!

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  7. barbed wire soul, that hurts!! barbed wire can sure hurt.

    bichon frise

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    1. Yes, I think my barbed wire has been removed, but it used to be quite tight around my heart. Glad it's no more :)

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  8. It's so good to see you, Lori... I really enjoyed this, especially:

    Sometimes forgiveness has expired
    leaving dark hearts sunken
    like cold stones dropped in a lifeless pond.

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    1. It's wonderful to see you, too, Laurie :) Thanks for the visit!

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  9. ...a painful song that genuinely reflects reality Lori...how tough it is to love...how sad...how careless...how selfish...how these all can vanish when love moves in its mysterious ways...but then as you said..it has its own limitation....it may stop but no...it won't forget...smiles...great read...

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    1. I love what you say about the mysterious ways of love. It certainly is. Thanks for reading, Kelvin :)

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  10. Strong and moving piece. I like how you split the lines, one part english, another spanish. Like a recipe for poetry, definitely enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing tonight.

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    1. Thank you, Fred! It was a great prompt you offered. Irresistible, really :)

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  11. In this challenge, I really love poetry which uses two languages, it sounds lovely and exotic, like spice added.

    And the poem - very moving indeed.

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    1. Thank you for reading and for the kind words :)

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  12. Thank you Lori for a satisfying read.

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  13. Dang, I love the combo of both languages. It IS so romantic...although you could have been saying anything, and I wouldn't know the difference.

    Beautiful write, as usual!

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  14. Living in a country where barb wire is like having potatoes on your plate so common sight, I read almost unaffected through. Till my mind actually stopped to look at the picture you spoke. ThAt did give me a chill(electric fencing! even that is commonplace)

    Spanish is not one of our official languages, we do not even know Spanish people, one day our son woke up and said he wants to learn to speak it. He has started to learn a bit of vocabulary.

    But this is actually about you- your poem. I too am glad you translated,you are able to mould words beautifully.

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    1. I love that your son is motivated to learn a new language :) And that would be difficult to have barbed wire everywhere :( Thanks for reading, Retha!

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